Is School Starting Yet?

I don't remember feeling this way last year. Maybe I did, who knows. All I know is that I'm really looking forward to the kids all getting to go to their own separate classrooms and have someone else answer their questions for part of the day. I feel bad even saying that, but there has been so much sibling rivalry around here the last few weeks, and I feel like I'm constantly refereeing. So I'm excited to get a bit more of a break from that. And I think they'll be excited, too. We've done quite a few things this summer, and they've had a lot of fun. It's okay to get back to the school schedule. Did I mention this little angel is starting half-day kindergarten?

I'm not sure which of us is more excited. :) Hopefully she'll be good and love it. Reilly will be going into 3rd grade, and Jaina into 2nd. So for a few hours each morning, Shawn and I will be on our own! A little bit crazy...

We got a trial run of it this weekend. After all the traveling last week, Shawn kind of started hating to be in his car seat (though he still likes to -go- places and always gets in happily). After about 10-15 minutes he starts fussing, and then crying, and won't sleep more than 20 minutes in the car, and basically is super difficult and refuses to be distracted by snacks, movies, or toys. So our Colorado trip which we had planned was starting to sound a little more like torture and stress than fun and excitement to me. Jeremy pointed out that I could actually stay home with Shawn, and it would save us all some stress (and some money, since one hotel room would work, and since they could take the little hybrid instead of our van). And I fought the idea, because I wanted to go, but then it started sounding really good to not spend 16 hours (round trip) in the car so soon after all the other traveling.
So they left Thursday, and Shawn and I didn't. He missed his siblings a lot, and I had to entertain him a lot more than I usually did. We had to get out of the house a lot. There were moments I wondered if it was actually a break for me or not. But then we'd drive somewhere and he'd start his fussing thing, and I was so grateful I wasn't on that trip! I only had to listen to it for 5 and 10 minutes at a time instead of hours...
And we did have fun. We went to the mall at the same time everyone else left (because he was upset everyone was getting ready to leave and he wasn't - he was unimpressed when I put him in a different car than them, though!) and he had a blast at the play area, playing on the "rides," and then sharing Panda Express with me. He loves Panda Express. :)

Friday we mostly hung out at home in the morning, then in the late afternoon went to see our friends' new house. I helped a little tiny bit with the unpacking and Shawn explored all their toys and yard and new rooms. And their furniture.

That evening I had a couple friends over for a craft/project/movie night, which was fun, and which motivated me to do some cleaning and picking up after a couple days of Shawn and I roughing it. :)
Saturday morning we went to Walmart to play with the toys and pick up some pictures I wanted for my painting endeavor, then we went to IHOP to use my birthday coupon for free pancakes. We split a stack of Harvest Grain 'n Nut, 2 eggs and 2 sausages, and Shawn ate every bit of his half. He loves breakfast foods, and especially when we're at restaurants. It was like a 20 minute wait, which he was not impressed with that close to naptime. Thankfully my server took our order very quickly and brought out the eggs and sausage within just a few minutes when I asked, so we didn't have any meltdowns. Once we got seated, we were in and out in like 25 minutes I think. A far cry from our experience at another IHOP a couple weeks ago! Saturday evening after dinner we hit the Goodwill (it was half off day) and found a few new toys for Shawn (he had been obsessed with this popper at Wal-mart earlier that day), a few jeans and shirts for the girls, and a gymnastics leotard for Jaina. (She has decided to take a break from dance and see what she thinks of tumbling this year.)

Over all, it was really nice to have a break from my normal life. I got to work on a family scrapbook I'm trying to get done, and also a painting I want to get done in the next month or two, and I didn't have to cook for the better part of 4 days. There was still way more that needed to be done around the house than one would hope for on a "vacation," and I had to get pretty creative trying to entertain Shawn, but even the break from constantly having to play referee with our older 3, and be on top of them before they drive each other crazy was nice.

They had a great time too, both in Colorado (Cortez/Mancos area) and stopping in Joseph City at Jason and Emily's house both ways. It was a great little road trip for them to do with their dad, and I understand that they listened to the entirety of "The Phantom Tollbooth" during their trip, as well. :)

But today, when they were back, it took me some time to re-adjust to the constant arguing, and discussing, and tattling, and just noise that accompanies children of their age and temperament. Thankfully we were meeting up with some people at the Riverview Splashpad, which helped to break up the morning. But when we got back, after we managed to feed everyone lunch, I said we were going to have "Quiet Time" (which we often use more as a consequence for children who are continually difficult and seem like they "need more rest") while Shawn napped. But since it was more because I needed it than I did, I told them they could watch a movie while they did it, as long as they lay down and pretended they were asleep. It says a lot about my mental state that I searched "longest Disney movies" when I was trying to pick what they were going to watch. My search was inconclusive, but a quick comparison of the times helped me settle on "The Incredibles" as today's winner. Weighing in at 115 minutes, it did lead to some needed calm in our house this afternoon.

Unrealistic Expectations

So, the 24th of July celebration (Pioneer Day in our religion, where we remember our ancestors that crossed the plains and started a life out west through many trials and hardship) didn't work out exactly how I thought it might. The parade was fun, and the weather was absolutely beautiful, which also meant a really big turn out. That was fun too, because everywhere I looked were people I recognized, but haven't seen for a very long time. 

But that's kind of where the fun ended. Reilly wasn't feeling well and I had to take him home. So I did that for about 15 or 20 minutes and got him all set up and went back down to the celebration. 

Where I proceeded to spend about 30 minutes in three different lines, with no food to show for it. They were running out of food (some of the meat hadn't cooked), or the line wasn't moving forever and ever, and Shawn was already past his bedtime and not interested in sitting there in the stroller. When the program was about to start, and none of the idealized stuff I had looked forward to had happened, I started losing it a little. And Shawn was losing it too, and we ended up heading home before they even turned the lights off. And I cried in the car and wondered what was wrong with me, and why I was so upset. My poor husband was trying everything he could to make it work out for me, and let me get what I wanted, but I didn't know what I wanted. I hate being a girl and being emotional and complicated! (And having idealized expectations sometimes still, even though I have 4 young children.)

The only thing that finally made me feel better is getting back to my mom's and talking to my sister. She, too, had some kind of idealized thought of how things were going to go. Her thoughts had included everyone sitting happily on a blanket together, eating watermelon, visiting with friends, and watching the fireworks together. Her reality didn't work out so well either, with 3 little boys at bedtime in a huge crowd. She, too, had cried a little bit on the way home. 

I said, "Where did these expectations come from? Is that how it worked for us when we were little?" She thought for a moment and said, "actually, the only real memory I have of the 24th of July fireworks is mom trying to get dad to pull over in Safford so we could watch the fireworks, and he was saying, 'Look out the window. You can see them.'" And then we both laughed and laughed at our expectations and reality with small children. And then we felt better, and ate some of the ice cream my mom had brought home as a consolation prize, and mostly moved on. Maybe another time. :) 

We did watch the fireworks from out front, and as I was waiting for them to start, I could just barely hear some of the program music. The faint strains of "Come, Come, Ye Saints" was familiar, and I tried to think about all my blessings, and to be grateful for my ancestors, who faced much harder trials than grumpy children and long lines for food. All so they could practice their religion without persecution, and bring up their children and grandchildren and great grandchildren in the Gospel. The fireworks were pretty, and the kids (up past their bedtime) oohed and ah-ed. We didn't have to fight traffic afterwards, and Shawn had been asleep for 30 minutes. Things didn't turn out like I hoped, but they turned out fine. Hopefully my kids will remember the parade, watermelon, ice cream and fireworks more than they remember their crazy mommy crying in the car...

Grateful (a remote post from 10,000 feet)

I'm writing this on my iPhone, at the cabin in Columbine, with no cell reception or Internet. It is about 9:45 and everyone else has been asleep for at least 40 minutes. I am still glad we came, but today has been a bit much for me, between being hormonal and tons of rain and 7 kids 8-and-under (Em and Jason came up too and joined us at the lake about 9 am). Just a little too much chaos, all around, when I kind of feel like being alone and reading a book. I do less well with craziness and chaos than I wish I did. But everyone is healthy, and Shawn has been sleeping well, and I'm grateful. Grateful that the kids didn't wake at all during the loud thunderstorm last night.  Grateful for how much I miss Jeremy after being away from him for almost 3 days, and unable to talk to him for 2. Grateful for this mountain and this cabin, and that they get to be part of my children's childhood too. 

Grateful for my mom, whose idea it was to come up and take the kids fishing, even though it's so much harder on her physically to do all the things for us she wants to. 

We are headed down tomorrow, and it's gong to be a busy weekend. We have two gatherings as part of he David Henry Weech family reunion, and Pima is hosting the Pioneer Day celebration this year. I'm grateful for my ancestors, and for all he pioneers and all the sacrifices they made for their faith and for us, so we could live better lives. More comfortable, happier, and safer lives. As wicked and scary as the world is, we are so blessed, and I know that we owe a lot of that to them.

Hoping my kids sleep tonight. Hoping I feel a bit better tomorrow, and can be better about sticking to my health goals. Hoping to be a good daughter, sister, aunt, mother, and person tomorrow. Grateful for the chance.

Hmm. June.

I really am working on getting this blog caught up for journaling purposes, but I need to be better at just writing about what's happening right now, or it's all just a somewhat-distant memory of what was going on at the time.
Summer is killing me. May was nice. It was fun (mostly) to have them home, and we were having really mild temperatures, for Arizona. Then June hit, and it has about wiped me out. Somehow, we had someone sick for at least 2 weeks straight.

And by the time we got back from Pima, Jeremy was working on recovering from his accident for a good 2 weeks (at least) too, and was sometimes in a good amount of pain, which was worrisome. (Thankfully, it got better after about a week and a half to 2 weeks, and he has been healing up just fine.) Plus, I just don't do well with the temperatures that averages around 110º and never cool off. It's true that we have access to a nice pool, but it already feels kind of like bathwater, so it's not very refreshing. It's not forever, but it does kind of wipe me out, especially if we go anywhere or do anything. Which is necessary with a small-ish house full of 4 busy kids and no real yard. The refereeing alone is enough to do me in some days! There are few moments when no one needs me or wants something or is asking something, and I find myself looking forward to school, and being sad that I feel that way. It's a constant struggle, but I keep trying to look on the bright side and enjoy the little fun moments. We have done quite a few fun things already and had a busy summer so far, despite all the sickness in June. The kids love June because the schools here do the free lunches most days. They love the variety of options, and mom is a big fan of not getting the kitchen all messy at lunch time. We got a really good deal on a membership to the Science Museum in Phoenix that we just started. We have been twice, and it keeps the kids pretty busy. I'm not sure if I'll do well going without Jeremy though. Shawn himself is a handful to keep track of there! Maybe if we go on a quiet day, if such a thing happens.We have also been to half the splash parks in the East Valley, I think, and been swimming quite a few times at our pool. Last week we took a morning and went to Makutu's Island, which is a big indoor play area. We have really gotten a lot of use out of the POGO passes we got for Christmas so far, and we're looking forward to checking out some more places. The kids are especially looking forward to Sunsplash later on this summer. :)

One of the more exciting parts of the month was definitely Katy's 5th birthday. She is such a fireball. Her indomitable will should really help her succeed in life. She keeps us on our toes, and doesn't know how to take "no" for an answer. She is getting very excited to start school in the fall. Hopefully it will be exactly what she needs. (She's just going to do half-day, mornings) She had her first "friend party" and they had a lot of fun! I think we have pictures of that on the Canon. And I'm lucky to get this post up today with all the laundry I have sitting around, all the picking up there ALWAYS is to do right now, and dinner time looming soon...

Mr. Shawn is about as busy as they come. Also, adorable, and learning new things each day. He turned 18 months last month, and is our sweet little mess-maker. He liked nursery the first week, but the second week there were a bunch of kids crying, and it kind of traumatized him. Week 3 did not go well. We'll see. He has started getting into a little more trouble lately, but also understanding more and trying to communicate a little more. He doesn't have very many words yet, but is doing well at making himself understood anyway. 75% what he wants is a snack, but figuring out what he wants is hard, because he has very definite ideas about what he will eat! We are still staying away from dairy and corn, and some of his favorites are cereal, applesauce pouches, chicken, and anything peanut butter.

Also, throwing a picture of the kids in here that we managed to surprise Jeremy with for Father's Day. This is a big deal, because I can never surprise him with anything. I'm forgetful, and a bad liar, and he's exceptionally good at putting clues together without even trying...