Wednesday, October 12, 2011

THIS one...

is driving me crazy. I would argue that she is more strong-willed than either Reilly or Jaina at this age, and there is no giving in: No quarter, no surrender, no SIR! If she's throwing a fit (or even just starting to fuss) about not being allowed something or having her diaper changed or what-have-you, and I start to sing a little song or in any obvious way try to get her to calm down (and do what I want), intensified body-arching and screaming commences. She does not like to be controlled even a little tiny bit. (As a side note, we were able to take fairly precise x-rays and get her adjusted at Jeremy's office last week, which I'm still marveling at. No small miracle, folks.) She goes back and forth about diaper changes, and that's rather annoying, but not life-changing. She yells to get my attention, she yells if you tell her "no," (much of the time) she screams, Screams, SCREAMS if you're trying to get her to sleep (or back to sleep, at 5 in the morning) if she doesn't agree with a sleep decision. The sleep is really the biggest deal, though the rest would be nice to be able to address. It was more or less not a frequent problem until she was sick this last week, and I was up with her 2-3 times a night with coughing and wheezing and such. But sadly all the "responding" I did while she was sick, both at night and during the day, has intensified some of her less-than-desirable traits. Now I'm not saying she's a terror. She's super cute much of the time, and thinks she's just as big as everyone else, and we're totally in love with her. She just has an opinion (about pretty much everything) and there's no changing it. It's exhausting at times, especially since my other two have their own opinions too, and since I'm -trying- to do something with them.
We've established chore charts, but it takes a lot of effort to "help" them complete them each day, and they kind of suffered last week with all the sickness. Okay, we didn't do them. Except the things that they already do anyway that are on there. (like getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc.) And pre-school time has suffered as well. Most of the problems with schedule seem to come from me, so I guess that's the first place I need to try to make changes.  A friend referred me to this mom's blog: http://www.myblessedhome.net/?p=1560 and I've been getting some good ideas as I've read through some of it. I think this particular link is to something that REALLY applies to me. She talks about yelling in the home and why it happens (from us a moms). Here are some triggers she identifies that I could have written myself (if I had managed to be so introspective):

  • "Frustration over a discipline issue that keeps creeping up, and I am tired of dealing with it.
  • I may have neglected to take action in an area of discipline for too long, and a behavior has gotten to a point that I am overwhelmed by it.
  • A manifestation of laziness. I simply don’t “feel” like stopping what I am doing in order to deal with a misbehavior, and I try to use the volume of my voice to do the work instead.
  • My own moodiness, which has nothing to do with the level of misbehavior among the children.
My reasons are not good reasons, but it is important to know what might set me off, so that I can be aware and take action to “discipline” myself! "

I'm really going to try to work on this, as well as setting up some plans of action for when my kids exhibit some of their less-than-desirable behaviors. Maybe we can all work on our failings together! This means a little less time on the computer for me (as important as what I'm doing at the moment seems) and more energy to keeping our schedule, spiritual goals, and behavioral goals on track. Wish me luck. Especially with THIS ONE:

7 comments:

cluffgirl said...

haha, I laughed so hard while reading this because I can totally relate! Charlie is so much more attention consuming than Ayden was at this age. Of course now he totally has a mind of his own and I have to deal with 2 headstrong kids at a time! Good luck, and I LOVE that last pic of Katy, hilarious!

Nicole said...

Those points that you gave are SO true! Definitely something to think about for myself! Good luck with everything--I hope she gives you a break. You are such a good Mom, Sara!

Christian, Kerri, & The Boys said...

You are a great Mom Sara. This is something I need to work on so bad. Thanks for the great post!

Adrian said...

I love that last photo. It sums up your whole description of her so well!

Mele said...

I loved the quotes. It is always good to be reminded of those things. Parenting is challenging somtimes! Kalei is in a telling-me-no phase and a pinching-her-brothers phase. It's nice to know mine aren't the only less than perfect kids. Ha ha. Best of luck with your goals. It will be worth it. :)

Sopha said...

Thanks for the reminder! I needed it for sure. I know I get frustrated too easily sometimes and I only have one! And that last picture may or may have not made me laugh out loud.

Michelle said...

Sara, Thanks for your link to my blog (and your comment!) :-) We've had a few very strong-willed children (#s 4, 6, and 7 in particular!) Stick with it, keep disciplining with love, and they really do come around! Our #s 4 and 6 have actually grown to be be sweet and kind-hearted, but #7 is still a tough one! I do believe one reason God gives us children is to grow us in our own character... the patience I never realized I lacked, for example. Parenting is so humbling, isn't it?